Go Out Broke, Come Back Drunk

I would like to think that I am a girl of many talents, one of those talents are being single. It truly is a gift and I’m super good at it. I could get all gushy and tell you about how I have learned to love myself, blah blah blah, but I have more important information… How to get guys to buy you drinks without using brute force! I have three methods that work every time.

Method #1- This is all about timing and stalking your prey, as in the dude. Never go up to a guy who has a full drink, if you do, you’ll have to talk to him a lot more than necessary and who wants that? I use to ‘2’ rule. If there is less than two inches left in the glass, he still has time to get away and that would be a waste of your efforts. 2, that should be how many drinks he’s on, typically. If he’s on his 11th this trick doesn’t work so well because your man is about to be in a coma. Anyway, when he has two inches of his drink left in his glass or bottle is the perfect time to approach him. This works best with guys you don’t know very well, so you can do the basic introductions, “hi, how are you” ect. Let time do the rest and wait for him to finish his drink. Once he does, like the compulsive guy he is, he wont be able to stand with an empty drink for more than 3 minutes. He’ll say something like, “I need to get another drink” and 9/10 times that is followed by “do you want me to get you one?” or if you’re from an area like me the guy will awkwardly nod his head, look at your glass and say, “ya good?”

Method #2- If you like shots (and who doesn’t?) this one is for you! It’s pretty simple, like a guy’s brain. After midnight there is always that one guy who is too drunk and insists on buying all his friends shots. FIND HIM! Don’t come on too strong, he might think your eye contact is the start of a new relationship. When he’s at the bar ordering his shots, gently go up net to him making it look like you’re ordering another drink. Let’s get real, you’re not because you spent your drink money on the jukebox to play “Shake It Off” for the 5th time. Next, tap is arm or nudge him and say, “so which one is for me?” More than likely he’ll get nervous and actually think he offered to buy you a shot earlier because he’s so drunk. There ya go!

Method #3- Finally, I call this the Lindsey Method because I learned this from my best friend, Lindsey. She is a genius! It has a 100% success rate! (This works best at a busy bar) It’s almost like a combination of the two previous methods. Find a guy who is buying a drink by himself, for himself. If he is buying this for his girlfriend, I’m not responsible for her ripping your hair extensions out. Anyway, do not get his attention. Wait for that moment the bartender sets his drink down… and ya take it!

Cheers!

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